Bo and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day
by GrayWolf84
Summary: The title says it all.


**Author's Notes: Alright, I can't take complete credit for this one - I first saw the idea in an Early Edition fanfic many years ago, and I thought it was brilliant (EE fans would know Gary is just like that...) - and so I must credit that EE author, as well as the very original author, Judith Vorst, and the original story, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". Beyond that, see my profile for all excuses and explanations. My utmost thanks to Mouse for last-minute editing, and probably Flynne and Cricket for probably editing some time last spring except I forget. Cheers!**

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**Bo and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day**

I went to sleep with engine grease on my hands and now there's engine grease on my sheets and after Luke dragged me out of bed this morning I started on the chores and I tripped over the goat and skinned my knees and by mistake I dropped the basket of chicken eggs and broke them - all of them - and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast Luke found twenty dollars he forgot he had in his pocket and Daisy found a late birthday present from Aunt Lavinia and I looked in my pocket and all I found was a list of chores I forgot to do for Uncle Jesse yesterday.

I think I'll move to Australia

In the General Daisy and Luke made me sit in the back and Luke drove really slow to Cooter's and he didn't even make one jump. I said if we get there early enough, we might catch MaryAnn Thomas picking up her daddy's pickup truck. I said Cattle Creek would cut six miles off the trip. I said I'd be happy to drive if it would get us there faster. They didn't even answer.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At the garage Cooter said my fuel mixture was too rich and Luke's was just right. At the post office I left my wallet in the car and Miss Tisdale said I had to find my ID and take a number and get back in line. At Rhuebottom's Daisy said I was bruising the apples she picked out when I loaded the grocery bags into the trunk of the General. I said, Who needs apples, anyway? And I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because Luke said he wasn't my best friend anymore. He said I could only be his best friend if I grew a brain bigger than a turnip and help him come up with a plan to stop Boss Hogg from taking the farm. I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Luke. I hope the next time you jump the General a tire blows out and you land in Australia.

At the Boar's Nest Daisy had two amateur division racing agents asking her to come test-drive for them this weekend and when she told them about Luke they were interested in him as a driver too. Guess who doesn't have anything to do this weekend?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because after lunch I was driving us home and Enos stopped us with a roadblock and he was going to arrest us until Daisy talked him out of it. Instead he handed me a speeding ticket for $50. That's due by next week, or I'm gonna have to arrest you Bo, he said.

Next week, Enos, I said, I'm moving to Australia.

When he moved the roadblock Enos dropped a sandbag on my foot and when I pulled my foot away I slipped and fell back into the mud and when I started complaining to Enos, Luke laughed at me and when I called Luke a jerk Daisy scolded me for being grumpy and fighting.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

So when we got back to the farmhouse, Daisy said she was going to bake some chocolate chip cookies and if Luke helped her she'd let him lick the spoon. I said, I want to help too, but Uncle Jesse just pointed to the list of chores I forgot to do yesterday and I headed out to the barn in a huff. He can make me do chores, but he can't make me like them.

When we picked up a new milk heifer Farmer Johnson said don't even think about flirting with his daughter, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for that pie cooling on the windowsill, and I was really careful, except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with the bull, but it broke through the fence and took off charging and I think it ran all the way to Australia. Farmer Johnson said please don't buy heifers from him anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was eggplant for dinner and I hate eggplant. There was hip-hop on the radio and I hate hip-hop. There was no hot water left for my shower, I got soap in my eyes, and Daisy didn't do the laundry, so I had to wear my threadbare pajama pants with a hole in the rear. I hate my threadbare pajama pants with a hole in the rear. Before I went to bed Luke said it was all my fault I got a speeding ticket today and I still have to pay him back for the money I borrowed last week and I tripped over Luke's bow and arrows when I climbed into bed. He left them out because Uncle Jesse wants him to go hunting tomorrow, not me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Uncle Jesse says some days are like that.

Even in Australia.

**:-D**


End file.
